A Christmas Giuliana

It was Christmas time, and I was all set for my big trip to see all my family and friends. I'd just had a nice bath, and had my diapers changed, and was sitting on my changing table saying goodnight to my friend lamby. I must have dozed off, because suddenly I felt strange, and was dizzy, and my head hurt. It was already Year 2K, and I must have slept through half of it! And I felt horrible! President Forbes had just had a severe attack of indignation and died, and Vice President Bauer was returning to Washington to take over! Goodbye Stanford, hello Bob Jones U.!!!

 I dreamed my family in Prague rushed home to make me feel better. They told me if I came to Prague, I could have a lot of good beer and forget about my troubles!

And then Mom and Dad took me down to Ojai, which is so far away, the people have forgotten how to pronounce "J" right. And I dressed up in my Christmas best.

I was pretty depressed about things when I got to Ojai, but we all went to the Country Club for a drink, and everything brightened up after that. I had a big soft glass of milk!

Daddy showed everyone his best bowling moves that he learned from ABC's Wide World of Sports…

…and Andrew showed us his new baby, who looks just like me!

After Ojai, we went to Phoenix, which is so far away, they have forgotten how to pronounce "P" and "O" right! But I had a new outfit, so I didn't have to think about any bad things!

I also broke down and decided to quit screaming whenever Mom put a hat on me. It calmed mom down a lot, and hasn't been as bad as I thought!

After Phoenix, we went down to Tucson, which is so far away, they don't even know what to do with a "C" anymore!! But I got to see a lot of nicely colored paintings, so I think I'll be an artist!

Mom thinks so too!

I also got to see my friends the Korns. Except for Gary, who I think was out day trading!

Finally, we started back home. We lolled up the coast, and stayed in Santa Barbara at the El Encanto. I was so relaxed!

I had the whole place to myself, except for Mom and Dad, who I bring along to help me!

Dad and I had a bath, and then I went to sleep!

 It was so pretty on the way home, I made mom and dad take me all the way up Highway one. We had a great time, tee hee. They'll never take ME on a long drive again!

But hold it! It was all just a dream! So I can relax, and go back to sleep!